Etsy Shop!!!! Check it out =)

Misunderstood

So low...that's where I am right now. I always feel that I never know your expectations...and even if I did I always seem to miss them. I feel so misunderstood. You never know how I'm feeling, and even if I did tell you you don't believe me. I don't think that you simply understand that I'm aching. I'm hurting. I'm trying to live my life, but if you constantly bring me down how am I ever going to go up? Last night I didn't sleep...I had nightmares the whole night...I tossed and turned til 3...it doesn't matter though, you don't believe me. I need you to believe me, I need you to have faith in me, I need you to help me. I need you...and you don't see that...

The innocence of a child..

I wish that I could go back and view the world through a child's eyes..tonight I was playing with 3 little loves. I was outside with 2 of them and they were just getting the biggest kick out of bubbles...BUBBLES..I couldn't believe how entertaining that was to them! I sometimes wish that I could just sick back and blow bubbles and be entertained! And to be honest..in that moment...I was totally entertained by the bubbles =)

Today I felt great! I have watched everything that has gone inside my body, and somehow even just 3 days into this journey I'm feeling revived! In random moments of the day I talk with God about things that I'm thinking & feeling. I always feel him around me, and I always know that I can call on him where ever and whenever. Today I really felt led to pray for my friend Trudy, I pray that Trudy is doing well, staying strong, and planning the wedding of her dreams! Oddly enough..when I came home Trudy wrote something on my FB wall...I love how God places people in our hearts, and later confirms that we were praying for them at the right moment.

Today I have tried to stay on the whole eating smaller meals plan, and amazingly it wasn't that bad. I kinda felt like a fatty the whole day because every few hours I was eating, but according to everything you read that's the best way to eat!

And for the record..as much as I'd like to say that I'm losing weight to look sooo HOT and amazing, I'm really doing it because I want my body to be healthy. I will never be 140 pounds like my doctors would recommend, but I want to have a healthy body weight, and want my lab results to reflect a healthy body!

I pray that everyone is having a blessed week, and is feeling the presence of God where ever they are in their day.

The beginning of the best year ever!

The beginning of this blog is for many reasons...I've decided that this year would be the best year I've experienced in my life! At the beginning of 2009 our church pastor charged our church to make 2009 the best year spiritually! I feel that I didn't put forth my best effort to have the best year spiritually, but 2010 I want to make that happen! Not only am I determined to make 2010 the best year spiritually, I want my life to be the best in every aspect! I want my marriage to grow into an amazing relationship, I want my body to transform, and I want my relationship with God to be the best it can be!

Every year the cliche new year's resolution is to lose weight...BLAH!!! I'm not trying to lose weight, I'm trying to change my body! I've been inspired to be aware of everything that goes into my body! Unfortunately I live everyday with the sometimes unbearable disease of Fibromyalgia. I also live everyday thinking about my father, who is 47 and battling non-Hodgkin lymphoma. While he is a fighter, I want to do everything I can to prevent my body from becoming a vessel from that horrible disease.

The hardest thing to let go of this year has been soda...I hate to admit to this..but I LOVE Coca-Cola! Not just soda..but Coca-Cola! Especially..canned soda!


This year will be the best! I'm determined...any support would be appreciated!